A LIBERAL'S CALL TO ARMS

For the second time in a week I find myself wondering whether we liberals should cast aside our discomfort with firearms and start loading up our basements with assault rifles and all the ammunition we can get our hands on. You can call me paranoid, but I'm starting to think my fellow citizens "across the aisle" are gearing up for another civil war, at least that's what their party leaders are saying.

Michael Reagan, son of the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan, told a G.O.P. rally in Tampa, Florida yesterday that liberals were "termites". I've been called names before, but never a termite, and I have to say I'm somewhat offended by that particular label because everybody knows that termites have no useful value, and if some "cockroach" like Michael Regan is going to imply that I have no value, well, he's just damn wrong, not to mention short-sighted and just plain stupid! Did you know that termites eat cockroach eggs? If it weren't for termites and bug sprays, cockroaches would be everywhere.

Former G.O.P. presidential candidate, Herman Cain spoke at the same rally as Reagan and he managed to call liberals "stupid people who are ruining this country" and "elite" – all in a span of five minutes. Both times the audience broke out in applause. Now, the word "elite" means a person or class of persons of superior intellect. A secondary definition is the best of most skilled members of a group. The word "stupid" means the exact opposite of elite. Somebody should have clued-in Cain and the Tampa G.O.P. audience that if liberals are elite, then conservatives are…! But, I digress. I've got a cold and I'm rambling.

Let's get back to guns and liberals. The other day, Florida G.O.P. congressman, Allen West – a Tea Party loyalist – went on a rant where he proclaimed that Democrats and liberals should get the hell out of the United States of America. Again, the crowd of loyal Republicans went wild with applause.

Now, here I am thinking, "Wait a minute. I was born in America. I love this country. I pay taxes here. I have rights. I have a vote. I have a voice and the vocal chords to prove it. How dare some "piss-ant" Congressman from Florida tell me that I have to get the hell out of America because he doesn't like my political opinions! Did I mention that termites eat piss-ants too? They make a good jelly if you can get them in season. Anyway, I got to thinking about all the dehumanizing bullshit Republican politicians have been casting at liberals lately and it occurred to me that maybe it's time for we liberals to start watching our back. Maybe it's time we arm ourselves, because when the founding fathers decided that the Second Amendment was necessary to ward off oppressive government, a government who told political opponents to get the hell out of the country was just the kind of government they were considering.

NOTE: I'm just venting!