APARTHEID'S NEW ALLIES

Lost in all the world-wide publicity surrounding former South African President Nelson Mandela’s funeral last month was the fact that Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu decided against attending Mandela’s memorial service citing security costs as the reason. Israel almost sent nobody to represent its country, but at the last minute Knesset (Israel’s legislature) Speaker Yuli Edelstein journeyed to South Africa to pay Israel’s respect. Apparently, Edelstein’s security didn’t cost that much.

It is altogether fitting that Netanyahu would refuse to attend Mandela’s funeral. Mandela was a man who poured his very soul into tearing down the pillars of apartheid in South Africa, while Netanyahu has poured his soul into building up the shameful walls of apartheid in Israel. Israelis and Israeli law now treat Arabs and Palestinians living in Israel in the same manner as South Africa’s former white regime treated South African blacks for decades under its system of apartheid. For pro-apartheid Netanyahu to pay respect to anti-apartheid Mandela would have been the height of hypocrisy, but what does that say about the United States? We’re Israel’s staunchest ally and chief financial supporter!

LET THEM PRAY

In spite of our Constitution’s language supporting the notion of separation of church and state, I think all politicians and elected officials should pray at the beginning of every public meeting they attend. I just wish their prayers were silent ones, because quite frankly, I’ve heard enough “God Bless America” invocations to last a lifetime and I doubt the self-serving drivel that passes for public prayer these days would convince the Almighty that we are anything but hypocrites when it comes to working toward the common good. Yeah, you can call me jaded and disillusioned, but at least I’m not blinded by public displays of religiosity that so many of our leaders and elected officials use these days to cloak their own greed and self-interest.

Take the so-called “War on Christmas” that Sarah Palin was ranting about several weeks ago. Palin was bemoaning efforts to remove Christian crèches from public property and suggested that it was an affront to the true meaning of Christmas, yet when asked whether over-commercialization was also part of the “War on Christmas,” she didn’t even blink when suggesting that it was actually part of God’s glorious plan.

You see, Palin was astute enough to recognize that the Almighty doesn’t vote or contribute to the political action committees that are near and dear to her, so when it came time to choose between the Almighty or political and business interests, she chose the latter. Sadly, when politicians advocate for public prayer, more often than not they’re doing the same thing. Their prayers are little more than bait-and-switch propositions, and the rest of us are meant to play the fools. So, go ahead. Let them pray and make a spectacle of their empty words. Empty words mean nothing!

WAKE UP AMERICA

There’s a measure of irony in the fact that America’s invasion of Iraq to dispose of Saddam Hussein and bring democracy to ancient Babylon has ended with Al-Qaeda insurgents taking over the Iraqi cities of Fallujah and Ramadi and declaring those areas to be the independent Islamic State of Iraq. The very people the Bush Administration, and more specifically former Vice-President Dick Cheney, said would welcome American liberators with open arms are now using their newly opened arms to ally themselves with America’s sworn enemy, the Al-Qaeda network of the late Osama bin Laden. Pardon me for saying so, but America’s hubris has brought this failure upon our self. Hopefully, we’ll learn our lesson and act more rationally the next time.

For example, after rebels started a civil war last year against Syria’s dictator, Bashar Assad, conservative Republicans spent that last eight months lambasting the Obama administration for refusing to aid the rebel’s fight by supplying weapons and logistical support. The late-night CSPAN airways were filled with Congressional Republicans denouncing our President as a coward and an unfit commander-in-chief over his refusal to intervene in Syria. However, within the past two months, as proof of atrocities committed by Syrian Rebels have started to be documented by foreign press observers, and the Rebel’s connections with Al-Qaeda has been confirmed, it would appear that Republican conservatives were once again ready to lead America into another trap of hopeless quick-sand. Thank God the Obama Administration was not so trigger-happy!

Many Americans find comfort in silly notions like the world is black and white, that we are the good guys and any who resist us are bad, and that if given the freedom to choose, people will choose our way of life and government, but that’s not how the world works. The world is mostly gray. Our friends sometimes do bad things and our enemies sometimes do good things. Freedom isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, and life under a despot can often be safer than life in the land of the free. Even today, amidst all the violence and death occurring in Iraq, per capita, more people are being gunned down here in America on a daily basis than they are over there. Apparently safety, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, too!

LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT

Hezbollah hates Israel.
Syria hates Israel.
Iran hates Israel.
Al-Qaeda hates Israel.
Sunnis hate Israel.
Shiites hate Israel.
Everybody in the Middle East hates Israel.
Everybody in Israel hates everybody in the Middle East.
Iran loves Hezbollah.
Iran loves Syria.
Syria loves Hezbollah.
Syria loves Iran.
Hezbollah loves Syria.
Hezbollah loves Iran.
Hezbollah, Syria and Iran are Shiites.
Shiites hate Sunnis.
Sunnis hate Shiites.
Syrian rebels are Sunnis.
Al-Qaeda is Sunni.
Sunnis hate Hezbollah, Syria and Iran.
Saddam Hussein was a Sunni.
Iraqis are mostly Shiite.
Shiites love Hezbollah, Syria and Iran.
Saddam Hussein hated the United States.
Iran hated Saddam Hussein.
Iran hates the United States.
Syria hates the United States.
Hezbollah hates the United States.
Al-Qaeda hates the United States.
Syrian rebels now hate the United States.
Syrian Rebels now love Al-Qaeda.
Hezbollah hates Al-Qaeda.
Iran hates Al-Qaeda.
Syria hates Al-Qaeda.
Al-Qaeda hates Iran.
Al-Qaeda hates Syria.
Al-Qaeda hates Hezbollah.
Syrian Rebels hate Iran.
Syrian rebels hate Syria.
Syrian rebels hate Hezbollah.
The United States hates Al-Qaeda.
The United States hates Iran.
The United States hates Syria.
The United States hates Hezbollah.
That’s why there will never be peace in the Middle East?

FEEDING A PACK OF WOLVES

It should surprise nobody that a brutal dictator, who would allow millions of his own people to languish near starvation, would also personally supervise a horrible atrocity like feeding live human beings to a pack of ravenous dogs. According to China’s Wen Wei Po newspaper, that’s exactly what North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un did last month when he oversaw the execution of his own uncle, Kim Song Thaek.

The dictator’s uncle, formerly viewed as the second most powerful person in North Korea, was removed from his post during the second week of December after being charged with crimes that the North Korean regime described as sedition, having delusions of grandeur, womanizing and drug use. Experts on the reclusive North Korean regime claim that the actual reason for Kim Song Thaek’s ouster and execution was that his nephew felt threatened by his uncle’s stature among the North Korean elite and believed that his uncle’s stature jeopardized his own grip on power. Killing off Thaek and a group of his closest lieutenants was the quickest solution Kim Jong Un could find to end the perceived threat.

Putting aside the question of whether Kim Song Thaek’s death sentence was justified or not, the report of Kim Jong Un’s sadism in personally supervising the feeding of his uncle to a pack of ravenous dogs while his uncle was still alive, can leave nobody in doubt that the North Korean dictator is nothing less than pure evil.

According to the Chinese newspaper that first reported the incident, Kim Jong Un had his uncle and several of his uncle’s closest aides stripped naked and thrown into a large cage occupied by 120 ravenous dogs that had been starved for five days before the grotesque execution. The North Korean dictator and three hundred officials in his regime then watched as the pack of dogs ripped apart living flesh and bone and devoured all of the sentenced prisoners…and we thought Michael Vick’s dog-fighting days were despicable.

The unspeakable horror that was Kim Song Thaek’s manner of death cannot be kept silent, as the world must recognize that Kim Jong Un's lust for power knows no limit. He is guilty of crimes against humanity. Hopefully, one day he will be forced to answer for his crimes.

QUACK...QUACK...QUACK...

It’s a shame that homophobia, bigotry and hedonistic greed sells to such a large swath of people here in America, but ignorance abounds and the prospect of curbing its growth is sadly rather slim. Take the recent controversy surrounding Phil Robertson, the patriarch of the clan on A & E network’s wildly popular show, Duck Dynasty. Phil launched into an anti-gay and racist rant during a GQ magazine interview. The revelation of the contents of that interview initially touched off a wave of public condemnation that prompted the A & E network to suspend Phil from the show. However, Phil’s suspension caused an even louder uproar among fans of the show and supporters of Phil’s way of thinking, and so the A & E network reversed its prior decision and Phil’s tenure as a star on Duck Dynasty will continue. Money matters over principle, because the forces of ignorance and bigotry in America are far stronger than the forces reason and civility.

From 1962 to 1971, a television show, The Beverly Hillbillies enjoyed widespread popularity among America’s TV-viewing audience. The show featured hillbilly couple, Jed and Granny Clampet, who became millionaires overnight when Jed found oil on their property. The couple moved to California with their two young adult children and tried to assimilate with the jet-set crowd of Beverly Hills, with very limited success. The Clampet clan were the sixties version of Phil Robertson’s clan on Duck Dynasty, with one very critical difference – Jed and Granny were respectful to a fault of the people who surrounded them. Jed and Granny were loveable television characters because they maintained their simple, respectful values in a millionaire neighborhood awash in decadence and pretentious neighbors. They never denigrated people who were different from them. Their message was one of ‘live and let live’ inclusion. Jed frequently scratched his head and said that he didn’t understand a particular person’s behavior, but then he’d shrug his shoulders and treated the person as if they were part of his family. When somebody mocked Granny or her back woods manner, she ignored the insult and responded with a simple outpouring of generosity and neighborly concern. It never struck Jed or Granny to be cruel or judgmental. It wasn’t in their blood.

Sadly, Jed and Granny’s values are not honored in today’s Duck Dynasty culture, where non-judgmental civility is trampled by an angry hoard of people who insist that bigotry, racism and homophobia are a God-given right. I used to think that a majority of Americans were better than this, but now I see that I was wrong!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year, Everyone! It’s tradition to start the new-year by making resolutions, so this is my list for the upcoming year:

1. Publish my book, Raising Laughter on the Funny Farm;
2. Lose fifty (50) pounds;
3. Take better care of my gardens;
4. Be more patient;
5. Double the time I spend laughing;
6. Send out more birthday cards;
7. Give more;
8. Watch less television;
9. Drink more water;
10. Go fishing.

Good luck with your own list!