DRAFTING SUSAN IN 2012

I've tried to convince my wife, Susan to run for the Republican presidential nomination. I know she's not particularly interested in spending the next fifteen months traipsing around the country on the campaign trail, and I'm positive she's not keen on the idea of moving from our humble abode into the White House, but after watching all the hoopla surrounding Michele Bachman's so-called victory in the Iowa straw poll last week, I know Susan would be a contender! Here's why:

Bachman laid claim to a resounding victory in Iowa's Republican presidential candidate straw poll after collecting only 4,823 votes from across the entire state of Iowa. That's one vote for every 2,073 hogs Iowa produced last year, but who's counting? In 2009, when my wife ran for judge here in York County, she garnered 3,869 votes in the Republican primary. Granted, that number is approximately a thousand less votes than Bachman registered in Iowa, but Susan's votes were just from this county (Pennsylvania has 56 counties) and Bachman's votes were from an entire state.

Put in another perspective, while Bachman took first place with 4,823 state-wide votes and Ron Paul took second place with 4,671 statewide votes, the third-place finished (Tim Pawlenty) drew only 2,293 votes, which means that Susan would have been the third place finisher with 3,869 votes – ahead of Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Huntsman, Cain and Rick Perry…not a bad showing since she never campaigned in Iowa.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Susan couldn't have duplicated that show in Iowa. Au contraire!

Like Bachman, Susan was born in Iowa – Clinton, to be exact. Like Bachman, Susan grew up in the Iowa. Unlike Bachman, Susan attended high school (Clinton High) and college in Iowa (Cornell College in Mount Vernon) and visits relatives in the state on a frequent basis, not just when an election rolls around. Susan's late mother, Doctor Margaret Smythe Emmons, was a well-known philanthropist in the state who supported many local and state organizations and educational institutions. I realize one shouldn't rest on the laurels of their parents, but Susan's generosity and sense of obligation to her community doesn't fall far from her mother's tree. People in Iowa appreciate that kind of thing.

Susan has a proven record of public service accomplishments that far outshines anything that Bachman has achieved in her brief congressional career. That matters to Iowa voters too. Plus, on any given Saturday in the fall, Susan wears a Hawkeye sweatshirt. You won't be seeing Bachman wearing one (She's a Golden Gopher fan)!

So, to any Bachman fans out there who might accidentally come upon this liberal blog, you can thank your lucky stars that Susan is married to a guy with more skeletons in his closet than a Wal-Mart superstore could hold. Otherwise, you wouldn't have such silly grins on your faces and Bachman would be looking up in the polls at a much more qualified candidate.

Maybe it's a good thing that Susan has no interest in running for the Republican nomination. As her liberal Democratic husband, I have a vested interest in keeping peace in this household.