IF I WERE KING

If I were King…

I'd eliminate taxes and replace them with mandatory weekly Bingo night.

Infomercials would be restricted to Sunday mornings and televangelists would be given the 2 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. time slots.

Government officials (excluding the King) would be limited to one term in office followed by a mandatory 5 years in prison.

Doctors would be forced to taste their own medicine.

$1.00 coupons could be tripled at the grocery store.

The right to a free lawyer would be restricted to once in a lifetime.

Frosted Flakes would have 1/3 MORE sugar instead of 1/3 less.

Parents would have to pass a written exam before taking babies home from the hospital.

Colleges would be free and open to any students 30 years of age or older.

The Big Mac would include Ketchup.

College kids who violate NCAA rules would be banned from professional sports until they are 50.

Mouthy teenagers would be punished with Disco lessons.

Trash collecting would be a high-paying job.