2010...IN REMEMBRANCE OF MARGARET

2010 was a notable year, but it was marred in January by the sudden passing of my mother-in-law, Dr. Margaret Smythe Emmons. In remembrance of her life and legacy, I am publishing the eulogy I delivered at her memorial service. She was a remarkable woman and a great humanitarian.

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"To laugh often and much; to win respect of intelligent people and the affection of children . . . to leave the world a better place. . . to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

By these standards, Margaret Rachel-Smyth Emmons was an unqualified success. I stand before you today, not just mourning the passing of a mother, a grandmother, a mother-in-law, a friend or a fellow member of this community. I stand here celebrating the success of Margaret's endeavors upon this earth.

I didn't know Margaret back in the 1920's or 1930's, the years of her youth in Correctionville, Iowa and later in Fort Dodge, but Margaret never forgot the lessons of the Great Depression – frugality, kindness to the less fortunate and the value of community service. In regard to frugality, Margaret never met a piece of aluminum foil she couldn't re-use twenty times or a plastic bag that couldn't be washed and recycled. If Margaret had written a book on frugality, it probably would have been titled, "1001 Things You Could Tie Up Using Thirty-Year Old Pantyhose".

I didn't know Margaret in the 1940's, when Margaret went to Cornell College in Mount Vernon or did something that very few women did in those days – go to Medical School. She graduated from the University of Iowa College of Medicine in 1949, and then began her career in service to others when she did her internship at St. Louis City Hospital and her residency at her alma mater, the University of Iowa…go Hawkeyes! Margaret was an ardent Hawkeye football fan; and if you called her during a football game, you can bet the conversation would be very, very short.

I wasn't even born yet when Margaret married fellow med-school classmate, Dr. Richard O. Emmons. She told Richard that she didn't mind where they lived or practiced medicine, as long as it wasn't in Clinton, Iowa – so wouldn't you know it - that's where they ended up moving to in 1954. And 56 years later, there's still an Emmons presence in Clinton. Margaret's sister-in-law, Elizabeth Emmons Gussack resides there and carries on the family banner.

By then, the first of her four children, Kathy was born. Both Margaret and Richard established private medical practices in Clinton – hers as an anesthesiologist, and his as an internist, and together, they practiced medicine for twenty-seven years, until Richard's death in 1981. Margaret practiced for five additional years before she retired, in 1986.

I didn't know Margaret in the later part of the 1950's, when she gave birth to Sally, my future wife Susan, and finally to Bob. I understand it was a hectic household with two doctors always on call, but Margaret was a great organizer and she made sure it worked.

Margaret's children thought she was a strict disciplinarian. When my wife, Susan was five and Bob was three, Susan embarked on a hairdressing career by giving Bob a haircut. Margaret nipped Susan's career plans in the bud and forbade Susan from using scissors for two whole weeks!

Margaret was also a practical woman, and she didn't confine her knowledge of anesthesia to the operating room. When the family lived on Fifth Avenue South [in Clinton], a bat found its way into the kitchen. When the bat flew into a cupboard, Margaret calmly closed the door and secured a bottle of ether. She placed a cloth soaked with ether in the cupboard, and that took care of the bat.

I've heard many stories about the Emmons' family vacations – like how Margaret would insist they stop at every historical marker on the roadway, but I've always been struck by the fact that Margaret never seems to have forgotten that her first role was that of wife and mother.

I didn't know Margaret in the 1960's or 70's, when her children were growing up in Clinton. I was growing up in Pennsylvania and Margaret was busy serving her church and her community. I could spell out a long list of organizations she served and accomplishments she attained, but I think the activity she enjoyed most was her mission work.

Margaret spent time in Ghana as a missionary training doctors and nurses, and she continued her mission work at home by being a member of the Board of Directors of Self-Help International – an organization dedicated toward helping people overcome poverty and famine by becoming more productive and self-sufficient. And if she was at a church annual meeting, Margaret always led the charge for more funds for mission work. She never met a church building project she couldn't oppose or a mission project she couldn't refuse. That's probably why she got as much solicitation mail.

I didn't know Margaret in the 1980's and the early nineties when she was traveling around the world on a regular basis, or riding her bicycle around Ireland, Belgium and other parts of Europe. I'm not 55, but I'm sure I couldn't complete RAGBRI…but she did it at age 55 and my hat goes off to her for that accomplishment. I'm lucky if I could get ten miles down the road, let alone making it all the way across Iowa.

I first met Margaret in 1998, when Susan and I journeyed to Iowa for my first Emmons' Thanksgiving…which turned out to be the first time I ever saw salmon-spinach loaf replace a turkey, and cranberry sauce with nuts and raisins instead of the stuff my mom always served from a can. I'm not sure if it was because of her frugality or her dislike for the Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions, but every time I got up and went to the bathroom, Margaret got up and turned off the football game. It wasn't Hawkeye football – so I guess in her book, it didn't matter.

When Susan and I announced our engagement in early 1999, Margaret seemed to approve of our match. Oh, I'm sure she had a few reservations, after all, Margaret has always been a staunch Republican and I'm…well, let's just say I'm not! But she loved me anyway, despite what she'd characterize as my "misguided political beliefs". It probably helped that she and I had a few other things in common: a competitive spirit, a love of reading, intellectual curiosity and Scrabble. I think my habit of pulling out Scrabble wins at the last moment vexed her, but she never missed a chance to play whenever we visited. She and Susan's cousin, Nancy played Scrabble almost every Sunday night.

But Margaret's long-time love was bridge…and she was a whiz at it. She tried (unsuccessfully) on two occasions to teach me the game, and then to demonstrate the depths of her generosity at a card table, she paired me up with one her opponents.
Now, everybody in Margaret's family is probably thinking, "I thought you were going to say Margaret's long-time love was her geography game – Go Travel Africa." No, Bridge was her long-time love. Go Travel Africa was her passion! There's a big difference between the two.

Margaret developed Go Travel Africa because of her love for mission work, her love of Africa and her desire to teach its geography to her grandchildren, but then her project turned into a mission of its own – some might even say an obsession, albeit a good one. Margaret always carried a "Go Travel-Africa" game in her pocket. If you were sitting next to her on an airplane, you were going to get her spiel. If you found yourself at an event with her, make no mistake about it - she was going to sell you a game. We joked about holding a special memorial service sale, because Margaret would definitely have approved, but then we realized that if you knew her well enough to attend this service, you probably already have a game.

And if you think Margaret wasn't driven, you should know that Margaret even sold a game to her mortician…I kid you not…that's before she died. I guess Margaret figured that if he was going to get her business, she should get his too!

I will always remember Margaret as an authentic and unique individual. She lived her life independently, and on her own terms. Yes, she had her foibles. She was stubborn, and like a lot us, thought her way of doing things was the best way. If you knew her well, I'm sure you could add a few items to this list. But Margaret was a caring woman, an adventurous woman and a woman who was not afraid to forge ahead when others would have hesitated. Margaret didn't spend her retirement years resting on her laurels – she used that time like she lived her entire life…always on the go, always learning, always looking forward to what comes next.

Margaret loved God, her family, her community, her country and the world in which she lived. She cherished her friends, even when she was mad at them, and she touched the lives of countless people, many of whom will never recognize her name.

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, that is what it means to have led a successful life. Margaret will be missed, but not forgotten by those who've known and loved her, because she lived, and we breathed easier because of it.

CHRISTMAS THIEVES

A rash of local thefts during this holiday season has left me a bit bewildered. In one case, a "baby Jesus" was snatched from a church's nativity display. In another, somebody made off with a "wise man and camel" from a couple's front-yard crèche. And let's not forget the "angel heist"; a brazen theft of two angels perched atop a wooden manger. The thieves left the accompanying "star" lying in the street.

Who does this stuff? Who could possibly take pleasure at, or see personal gain in stealing a couple of square feet of molded plastic? It boggles my mind.

Then again, maybe it shouldn't. If the sum total of the meaning of Christmas in today's world can be adequately displayed with an illuminated piece of molded-plastic figurine, perhaps the thieves have been doing us a favor. Christmas is more than a pretty lawn display; and that's something that even the best of thieves can't steal.

MEXICO INVADES TEXAS...and all that entails!

Did you know that Mexico invaded the United States last Tuesday night?

Well, they did, but today is Friday and we're just hearing about it. Does that mean we're officially at war with our southern neighbors? Inquiring minds want to know!

Apparently, a drone aircraft that was owned and operated by the Mexican military crashed in the back yard of an El Paso, Texas home last Tuesday night. That sounds like an invasion to me, but I'm still scratching my head over why it's taken so long for the public to hear about it. Has Texas been returned to Mexican control? I know that Texas Governor Rick Perry has been hemming and hawing lately about Texas succession. I just never expected that it would happen so soon, or that "bigger than life" Texans would cave so easily to our southern neighbors. I guess you just never know!

And that brings to mind another question: Are we going to retaliate with a "shock and awe" campaign similar to the one we used in Iraq? Stay tuned...though it will probably be another week until we get an update. Apparently, news travels slower in Texas.

PALIN & THE ALMIGHTY

Sarah Palin says that she is giving a 2012 presidential run "prayerful consideration", but if she is seriously looking for a sign from the Almighty on whether she should toss her hat into the ring, I can ease her mind right here and now. God has heard enough "Sarah Palin religious drivel" to fill a hundred worlds and He's not impressed with her commitment to the things that matter most to Him - feeding the poor (i.e. food stamps), housing the homeless (i.e. subsidized housing), comforting the sick (access to health care) and visiting prisoners. Nor is Palin's record on non-violence or seeking protection for the defenseless something worth bragging about before the Almighty. If Palin thinks that she'll receive a "thumps-up" from God to champion her viewpoints in our Nation's highest political arena, she's either disingenuous or incredibly ignorant about what God truly asks of His followers, or perhaps a little of both.

When Sarah Palin touts her commitment to Godly principles in her various speeches, she never explains in any meaningful way what principles she is referencing to, and with good reason. Palin's principles are not God's principles. They're Palin's principles.

Palin's principles do not champion feeding the poor, housing the homeless, comforting the sick or visiting prisoners. Palin's principles do not promote non-violence and protecting the defenseless. Rather, Palin's principles advocate the advancement of individualism and self-reliance. The strong get stronger and the weak get weaker. The rich get richer and the poorer get poorer. Success is not measured by one's commitment to God, but instead by how far one rises on the political and economic ladder. Of course, Palin's principles are cloaked with fancy language associating those principles with Godly principles, but God is not fooled by them, and neither should we.

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL MUST GO!

Because our venerable Declaration of Independence labeled Native Americans as "merciless savages", it should come as no surprise that there were many during our Revolutionary War who opposed Native Americans serving in the continental army. The "Indians", as they were called, were frequently viewed as heathens and brutal savages who were unfit for civilized military combat. George Washington, however, recognized the value of Native American warriors, having witnessed their bravery during the French and Indian War, and readily welcomed their assistance. Eventually, at least sixteen hundred Native Americans served during the American Revolution, and the Native American "guerrilla warfare" tactic, adopted by the colonists, was largely credited as the reason the colonists were able to defeat an army that vastly outnumbered them.

Ironically, during our nation's Civil War, Northern military commanders resisted efforts to enlist blacks in the Union army, arguing in the process that the black man was intellectually and physically inferior to white soldiers, and much more prone to cowardice and desertion. Near the latter stages of the Civil War, when confederate military commanders in the deep South suggested that black slaves be used to form fighting regiments, because confederate units were suffering massive casualties, southern citizens were outraged by the notion that blacks would be considered for such an important duty, and calls for the replacement of those commanders was loud and swift.

In World War II, citizens and immigrants of Japanese and German descendants were widely regarded as unfit for U.S. military duty, under the assumption that they would automatically be enemy spies for their former homelands. The Japanese were eventually interred in prison camps for the duration of the war, and many Germans quickly "Americanized" their names.

During the latter part of the 20th century, the role of women in the military was hotly debated, with opponents spouting the notion that women were weaker than men, both intellectually and physically, and could not be relied upon in various combat roles.

Whether our nation was considering the role of Native Americans, Blacks, Japanese, Germans and Women in our military forces, the major arguments against all such participation and service has always focused on a perceived weakness of the particular group being considered.

Today, with the question of homosexuals serving in our armed services, that focus has changed, and I'm scratching my head over the irony of what I'm hearing. I'm not hearing that gays can't shoot straight (pardon the pun), can't execute orders, can't think strategically and can't fulfill the physical demands or stress of military jobs. Nope! What I'm hearing is that non-gay service men and woman can't function properly or efficiently do their job in the company of recognized homosexuals.

So, this is what I want to know: Are straight members of the United States military, the supposed strongest and bravest in all the world, somehow too weak and undisciplined to be able to occupy a foxhole, a tank, a fighter jet, a submarine or a communication outpost with a soldier with a different sexual orientation? If so, it seems that we'd be better off with an "all gay" army. At least then we wouldn't be wasting our time on stupid discrimination.

ANOTHER JIHADIST CAPTURED

A Baltimore construction worker named, Antonio Martinez, who used the alias Muhammad Hussain, is the latest proof that there's no shortage of "whack-job terrorists" in the world, even amongst our own citizens. Apparently, this 21 year-old home-grown knucklehead is the latest would-be jihadist bomber captured by the F.B.I. Like the kid captured in Portland, Oregon last week, Martinez was caught in a sting operation by the F.B.I., who had discovered Martinez's plan and were able to take steps to prevent Martinez from bringing his murderous plot to fruition. [Again, kudos to the F.B.I.]

Martinez's target was a military recruitment center in Catonsville, Maryland, which Martinez wanted to destroy in order to retaliate against the U.S. for military operations currently underway in Afghanistan and Iraq. That numerous lives would be lost apparently meant nothing for Martinez. Hopefully, our courts will convict and imprison Martinez and throw away the key.

Violence is truly the root of all evil, and extremists like Martinez seem to have an insatiable desire for it. Nevertheless, I hope our nation's response to men like Martinez doesn't draw from the same well of violence that feeds fanatics like Martinez. Otherwise, the cycle of violence will never be broken.

SACRIFICE DELAYED IS FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY LOST

Politicians in Washington and citizens around the country are breathing a sigh of relief today as word of a compromise between the President and the GOP has been reached regarding an across-the-board extension of the Bush era tax cuts for Americans at every income level. Republicans demanded an extension of tax cuts for even the wealthiest Americans as the price for capitulating to an extension of unemployment benefits and a roll-back of payroll taxes for one year.

Compromise is a necessary component of our country's government structure, but the "deal" reached yesterday does not begin to address our burgeoning federal deficit or the unstable state of our social security system. In fact, the cost of the tax cut for high earners alone will cost the government several hundred billion dollars, which will simply be added to the federal debt.

The GOP has revealed that all their pre-election talk about fiscal responsibility was just a puff of smoke and attested to their own hypocrisy by abandoning that notion in favor of refusing to ask their own constituency (big business & the wealthy) to make sacrifices necessary to bring this country back to a level of economic stability. Middle class taxpayers are hurting, but the GOP held relief for wage-earners hostage to their demand to further enrich the wealthy. In the process, another opportunity to address this nation's economic woes has been lost.

At the end of the day, no American was asked to sacrifice, and our leaders chose to bury their heads in the sand for two more years. When will we ever learn?