Penis Pumps Waste Medicare Millions: Inspector General
According to a story posted on MSNBC by NBC staff writer, Daniel Arkin, from 2006 through 2011, Medicare paid out $172.4 million dollars in claims for penis pumps so 478,000 old farts could continue having sex. Apparently, there were a lot of seniors out there who didn’t know it was time to quit.
Wal-Mart Manager Fired After Chase to Stop Beer Theft
Well, technically it was a beer robbery. An assistant manager at a Titusville Wal-Mart tried to get the license plate of two men who stole more than a dozen cases of beer from the store. He jumped into the bed of the robbers’ pick-up truck and the robbers then drove off and took him on a 15-minute high-speed trip. Eventually, the assistant manager got away and the police apprehended the beer thieves, but Wal-Mart wasn’t happy about the assistant manager’s zeal and gave him the axe.
Italian Nun Gives Birth; Claims She Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant
A Salvadorean nun living in a convent in Reiti, Italy, gave birth last Wednesday to a bouncing baby boy. The convent where the nun was living claimed that she didn’t know she was pregnant until she was admitted to the hospital. The larger question ought to be – Who’s the baby daddy? Sounds like a case for Maury Povich.
Oregon Fugitive Arrested in Montana After 15-year Manhunt
I never realized that it took so long to go from Oregon to Montana. I know you’d have to travel through Idaho, which is a barren, God-forsaken place where one can easily become lost and disoriented (i.e. Idaho Senators Crapo & Risch), but taking 15 years is a bit much. Maybe that’s why they called it a manhunt. A woman on a hunt would have asked for directions.
Clapper Declassifies More NSA Documents after Obama Speech
per FOX news)…I’ve been clapping my hands for the past 15 minutes, and although the lights keep going on and off, I still don’t see any declassified documents. Can somebody help me out here?
Target Hacker Used Over-The-Counter Malware
That headline basically means that Target’s security is so lax that even a 5-year old could breach it. If the Evil Empire wasn’t so busy firing managers for chasing stolen beer and its hourly workers for demanding fair pay, I might have suggested breaking my own boycott, but that’s not going to happen. From now on, I’ll have a cash-only policy at Target.
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