My mental decline must be picking up steam. Really! I can feel the wind flowing through my wavy grey hair even though I'm typing at a stationary desk. I can't see any dementia in front of me, but if it turns out that dementia looks like a computer screen, I'm about 0.27 seconds away from getting my face splattered like a bug on a windshield. I'm kind of bummed-out that the ride isn't more exhilarating.
Researchers at University College London just released the results of a study they conducted and concluded that brain functions and cognitive decline begin in humans around the age of 45. According to their study, folks lose the equivalent of 3.6% of their mental reasoning powers over a four-year span beginning at that age. Apparently, after passing 49 years of age the loss of mental power picks up steam. Since I'm turning 55 years old next month, you can understand why I'd be concerned. I'm not particularly fond of roller coasters. If the London researchers are correct my car has already passed over the top and the ride is about to get scary.
Mental decline worries me, but not for obvious reasons. I worry about the mundane stuff, like whether I'll forget that I'm a blazing liberal or start believing in Reaganomics and the "trickle down" theory. What if I fall off the deep end and start blogging that tax cuts for the wealthy produce jobs? Who will be around to save me? Certainly not my Republican wife! She'll be filling out MY absentee ballot card with a straight GOP vote. I know she will, because she knows that I'd have her voting straight Democrat if the shoes were reversed. Loving spouses do that sort of thing!
As long as I maintain the ability to recognize that I'm always in the right, life will be fine and dandy, but what if my capacity for impeccably sound reasoning should falter? What if I start thinking that I could err? I know that's almost unimaginable, but still.
I commented to my wife that there ought to be a pill that improves brain functioning in men. She dryly replied that there was – Viagra. See what I mean? Women!
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