I admit to chuckling when first hearing word of Uncle Newt's plan to build a moon colony by 2020, but after giving the matter some serious thought, I've got to admit that he might be onto something. I know that skeptics are saying that Newt's just trying to pander to Florida voters living in the Cape Kennedy / Cape Canaveral neighborhood, and they've got a point, but a colony on the moon would have some pretty useful benefits.
For example, now that Newt has been publicly bashing Mitt for holding offshore accounts and corporate investments in the Grand Cayman Islands, many of America's wealthiest investors are looking for other less conspicuous tax havens to shelter their earnings from the evil eyes of the government's revenue police…you know, IRS agents. The moon would offer the perfect "other world tax shelter". All you'd need was a guy living in a one-room solar-powered module on the lunar surface, a computer and a satellite dish. Business would pour in as companies realized the advantages of incorporating in a place with one-sixth the gravity and tax burdens as earth.
Another possibility for lunar development would be to relocate Congress there, preferably on the far side of the moon, where our representatives would be out of sight and largely incommunicado from all but alien spaceships hiding back there. Eventually, the lobbyist would set up shop on the moon too, but that would be okay. They're use to living in a world apart from everyday reality. It might even give lobbyists a whole different perspective of life on earth.
Newt is dreaming about Mars too. It's a red planet. Newt figures that means they vote straight Republican. Wait until he realizes that the only way to get from place to place on Mars is via government subsidized public transportation (a/k/a Martian rovers).
What comes after Mars is hard to say. Newt hasn't thought that far ahead yet. It's a good thing there's still 47 primaries to go before the G.O.P. convention. The universe is the limit! To infinity, and beyond, I'm sure.
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