I am not a fan of professional wrestling, boxing or even the newest version of sanctioned violence – cage fighting, but I have to admit that I’d break down and subscribe to a pay-per-view event featuring a cage match between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, if only just to see which of them starts crying first. Seriously, it would be so worth the money, and I’m sure it would be a hell of a lot more entertaining than the GOP presidential debates have been. It could even be an educational experience, which is setting the bar kind of low given the level of intelligence that the GOP debates have showcased, but folks could finally see, first hand, how the candidate of their choice would react in a time of crisis. I’ll bet such an event would be very illuminating.
The obvious venue for a Trump/Cruz cage match would be St. Paul, Minnesota, because “Brawl in St. Paul” is too catchy a promotional phrase to pass up. Also, there’s the Jesse Ventura / wrestling / Minnesota connection to consider. Being the even-handed kind of guy that Ventura is, he could ref the match and keep both fighters from pulling something dirty, which you know Trump and Cruz would both do without a second thought.
Of course, to make this cage match the kind of match that folks would pay to see, both fighters would have to promise in advance, that whichever candidate looses the fight will withdraw from the GOP presidential sweepstakes; otherwise, there’d be no point watching two over-sized egos going toe-to-toe dressed in gym shorts. [Try erasing that thought from your memory] The Trump/Cruz cage match isn’t the perfect way to select the GOP presidential candidate, but it sure beats what we have now.
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