NO BUTTS OR BOOBS ON RICK'S FRONT LINE

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has made it clear that if he is elected as President of the United States, women in America's armed forces will not be permitted to serve on the front lines in combat. Putting women in combat situations is "not in the best interest of men, women or the mission", he said. Rick would certainly know, since he's spent all of ZERO minutes in the military, and even less time in combat, unless you count the time he spent being the lawyer for the World Wrestling Federation as combat time.

Santorum is worried that men in uniform on the front lines will lose sight of their objective if women are allowed to block their views with curvy boobs and boot camp honed-posteriors. Clearly, he's never seen a short U.S. Army private wearing body armor and a fifty-pound weapons pack. Without looking at the head, you frequently can't tell the difference between a man and a woman.

Santorum won't let gays serve either, but that's another story.

It ought to irk men in uniform that a guy like Santorum would think that with women around, they'd put something other than their mission first, but there again, Santorum never served in the armed forces so he wouldn't have a clue what something like 'Semper fidelis' was really all about. They don't have that at the WWF.

I haven't conducted any scientific research on the subject, but the women I know who've served in the military are greatly offended by Santorum's viewpoint because it implies that women in uniform are second-class warriors. Take my wife's Aunt Elizabeth, for example. Aunt Elizabeth served in the "China-Burma-India" theater of operation in World War II and she came home with the medals to prove it, not to mention the scars of serving in a hospital unit that blazed its own trails and set up operations within earshot of the front lines. Mortars frequently fell on their hospital camp. Those were combat situations in the mind of Aunt Elizabeth and her fellow female soldiers; maybe not for Santorum, but they are to me too, and thousands of husbands and fathers came home from that Asian theater because those female soldiers in combat acted just as capably as their male counterparts.

Thanks, Aunt Elizabeth. You're the woman!